Challenges / Events / On the Homefront / School / Starting Over

New Me, Real Me

So…Hello!  Did you miss me?IMG_2748

I can’t believe it’s been two years since I’ve published anything on this blog.  I’ve had all of the intentions, but none of the motivation, I suppose.  Normally, I wouldn’t even know where to start.  Which, of course, would lead me to postponing posting for even longer.  Well, thanks to one of my current courses in school, I am making it happen!

If you’ve popped onto my almost as equally neglected Facebook page in the last few months, you may have seen my post about going back to school.  I am now nearing the end of my second semester at the American College of Healthcare Sciences.  I love it.

My first semester was a busy one, as it was an accelerated semester.  Basically, that means all the work in half the time.  Overall, I did pretty well.  I kept up with almost all of my assignments, and did well on most of my tests.  On one of my finals I scored 97%, which I was really proud of.  My second one really kicked my rear, and I didn’t do nearly as well, coming in at 82%.  I know it’s not a terrible grade, but I was (and still am) extremely frustrated over it.

I had high hopes for my current semester.  Unfortunately, as much as I’m enjoying much of the subject matter, a good part has been very challenging for me.  Add in some life events, and I’m very far behind, indeed.

Is it really outside events, or is it my own lack of follow through, that is really influencing things?  Well, probably both.  I am not quite ready for all of the details to be shared just yet, so I suppose there’s not a whole lot to back this all up.  All I know is, there are so many women (and men) going through similar circumstances, or even worse, that are succeeding where I seem to be unable to.

Am I distracted?  Absolutely!  Am I having trouble focusing on one thing at a time?  Always.

So what can I do about it?

Honestly, I just have to suck it up and push some things back a bit.  It’s absolutely not ideal, but it’s what is working for me, right now.  I have a job.  I am still taking care of my kids.  I have taken lead positions in their lives outside the home.  I have a deposit on an apartment.  These are all things I was contending with, while trying to focus on school.

Guess what didn’t happen?

Yep.  I was completely unable to focus on school.

Remember that 82% final I had?  I will be so freaking proud and amazed if I can make that happen, this semester.  It’s not even accelerated, and I just cannot keep up, for the life of me.  I feel like I’m being pulled in so many directions.  This is my life.  Where do I make my choices?

As I continue on in my journey.  I will need to make some very hard decisions.  This is life.  However, this is not the life I had originally planned.

I guess it never really is.


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